doors without smiles
by shipperofsupernaturalbuttsex
Summary: "He would have promised anything, made any bargain the universe would accept if James would just breath." on the night of the potters' murder Snape visited the potter house, but not as we all believe, for lily. rating may change
1. Chapter 1

**ok this is my second attempt at writing fan fiction, again i ask that you be gentle with me i know i'm not great but this is a scene I really wanted to read but since i couldnt find it anywhere else i decided to write it myself. im not sure yet but there might be more chapters to come, im haveing trouble deciding how snape falls in love with james, my only ideas so far involve a journey and a musical number (thanks Disney your super helpful) any who declaimers: i own nothing but my socks and an imaginary fish named jimmy**

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Severus Snape stood watching the last house on a lonely residential street in Godric's hollow. At first glance nothing about the potter residence seemed out of the ordinary. That is, of course, other than the fact that until a few minutes ago it had not been visible. However if one was accustomed to spontaneously appearing houses and took a closer look they might notice that despite the abundance of light in the house it appeared to be empty.

On any other night if you had knocked on the potter's front door you would have been welcomed in with a smile, but after tonight it would never again be thrown wide in welcome.

In the hours that followed it would be hesitantly opened by a man terrified of what he would find, and later, by a half giant looking for a baby who would one day become one of the most famous wizards of all time. However the smile of James potter would never again grace that doorway.

The world seemed to move in slow motion, every step closer taking hours rather than seconds, the distance between where Snape stood and the door stretched further, becoming an infinite distance. Feet dragged heavily, barley lifting from the concrete with each step.

Seconds, or possibly weeks later, he reached the door. He hesitated, fingers grasped the handle tightly.

It was already over but as long as the door stayed closed the illusion remained. He could still pretend that James had ever stood a chance.

The hinges creaked slightly as the door swung open. It stuck half way, caught on a familiar wand. Snape recognized it immediately. How could he not? This wand had been pointed at him almost daily for seven years. It had hoisted him by his ankle, given him numerous injuries, and in one of its wielder's more creative moments had transformed most of the castle's suits of armor into flamingos.

James' wand.

The part of Snape which had still been holding on to the hope that James was alive shrunk noticeably. Then shattered as the door swung open completely; and the interior of the house became visible for the first time.

James' body lay contorted on the floor of the front entrance way. Caught in the act of turning to follow his wife.

All the starch went out of Snape's body as he collapsed. It took everything he had to crawl closer and pull James' body to his chest. Snape buried his face in James' hair and allowed the tears he had been holding in all evening to fall. He sobbed "I'm sorry's" and promises to anyone who was listening. He would have promised anything, made any bargain the universe would accept if James would just breath.

Long black hair tangled with messy golden as Snape mourned for the man he had loved. The man who would never again greet the door with a smile on his face. Would never again run his hands through his hair in the way that had always frustrated lily but that Snape had secretly loved.

Who would never again be James.


	2. Chapter 2

**ok. so i wrote a second chapter, lets all cross our fingers and hope i can figure out** **how to post it. reviews are awesome so i encourage you all to run around trowing them** **like confetti. to recap i own nothing. if anyone is wondering jimmy is doing well**

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-James' pov-

Detention with McGonnogal was always the worst, although to be fare at least she didn't suspend him from the dungeon ceilings by his wrists as filch was forever threatening to do. Of course if Peter had been half decent at charms he wouldn't have had detention in the first place. It wasn't James' fault the astronomy tower had caught fire, all he wanted to do was flood it, maybe transfigured a few of the telescopes into fish. Not that that was any better he supposed, or any less likely to land him in detention, but he would have preferred to be punished for a crime he had actually planned at least.

He was walking back to the common room, well okay not exactly straight back to the common room technically he was sneaking into the kitchens, but after that he would defiantly be heading back to his dormitory. Probably. But anyways, he was walking from detention and had just come to the end of the secret passageway that came out behind a huge tapestry of some historically relevant scene - to be honest James had never really noticed what the tapestry was, as far as he was concerned if it was on a tapestry it couldn't possibly be anything interesting- when he heard voices. Two of the voices were unfamiliar but they had that distinct hiss that was present in the voices of most slitherins, like they thought sounding like snakes made them cool.

Rolling his eyes at slitherin stupidity; James pulled out his invisibility cloak figuring he could slip by them, when he heard a third voice, this one at least was recognizable. Snivellus. He was saying something along the lines of get out of my way or else ( with swearing and threats or curses thrown in for good measure). Now this at least could be interesting. A smile spread across James' face, nothing like tormenting Snape to put him in a good mood. Bits of the conversation filtered through the tapestry, but it was enough to get the general idea. The two slitherin boys had figured out or decided or something, that Snape was gay and they don't want any of "his sort" sharing a dormitory with them.

James's smile fell, curling into a frown. He remembered the previous year how Serius had come out to him, his best friend, a boy who ran with a werewolf once a month, was shaking from fear of people's reaction if the found out. James could picture Serius in Snape's place, imagined how he would feel being shoved into a wall by intolerant slitherins.

No way would he let anyone treat Serius like that and we wasn't about to let it happen to anyone else either even if it was Snape. He swung his cloak over himself and pulled the tapestry aside.

-Snape's pov-

Signs for recognizing a werewolf, general weariness around full moon, aversion to silver, hangs out with potter...

Lupin was a werewolf, Snape was certain. All he needed to do was catch him on a full moon and he would have enough proof to take it to Dumbledore, the old fool couldn't allow a werewolf at Hogwarts, even if it was one of his favorite students. The trouble was, not only was Lupin missing around the full moon, so were the rest of the idiots he hung around with. Try as he might Severus had never been able to follow them to where, he was sure, they were meeting their werewolf buddy. It never failed, as soon as the turned a corner and were out of his sight the disappeared completely.

He was halfway through planning to sleep outside the Griffindore portrait hole when his head collided with a wall rather suddenly and Malfoy's smug face appeared in front of him. "Hey fagot" Malfoy sneered Snape's heart stopped. He was caught aware of being shoved into the wall repeatedly and responding on auto pilot, but little of this registered. They knew. If they knew everyone would know; his parents, the marauders. His life would be hell. Not that it was all that great to begin with, but still.

He looked for a way out, maybe if he caught them off guard he could run but here would he go?

just as he thought this a disembodied hand appeared behind the two slitherins. It grabbed Severus by the front of his robes and pulled hard. He blinked and suddenly found himself nose to nose with James potter who's hands were still holding his robes, keeping him closer than he ever wanted to be to the griffindor chaser. Severus tried to push away but potter just held him closer and put a finger to his lips before pointing to the confused boys behind them. Severus turned to look. Malfoy and Lastange were checking behind suits of armor and yelling at each other for loosing him. James raised his wand and muttered something into the back of Severus's neck. Both slitherIns started flapping their arms around their heads and ran down the corridor followed by a cloud of wasps. Wile James doubled over laughing Severus examined what appeared to be an invisibility cloak, he'd never actually seen one.

"Alright?" James managed when he finally stopped laughing. Snape shrugged.

" great, well, see ya around," and with this Snape was expelled from the cloak and James disappeared.

~ next day ~

Severus got up early to avoid a conversation with his housemates. He grabbed his bag and snuck out past the sleeping forms of the other fifth years. The one upside to this was getting the library to himself for a few hours, but he was still yawning by the time he wandered into the great hall for breakfast. He supposed his exhaustion was the reason he didn't notice right away. Severus wandered over to his house table weary of his fellow slitherins. They were no doubt already knew all about last nights confrontation. At least he don't have to worry about the marauders yet as they generally appeared as breakfast was ending just in time to grab a few sausages and run to class. This served the dual purpose of allowing them a lie in of about twenty minutes, and more importantly, gave them a dramatic entrance.

Severus glanced at the Griffindor table as he thought this and was shocked to find James smiling smugly and watching the slitherin table. As a matter of fact most of the students were staring at slitheren table, where Malfoy and Lastrange were snogging enthusiastically.

- James' pov -

James was up before even Moony who was always awake in time for breakfast and was usually gone by the time the others managed to drag their lazy asses out of bed.

He had a plan. As plans go this one was rather simple, they already had a store of love potion left over from valentines day. Serius had decided it would be amusing to spike the morning pumpkin juice making everyone love McGonnogal. James had to admit it had been worth it to see how red she'd gotten after the third declaration.

All he had to do was steel a few hairs from the victims, an easy feat when one had an invisibility cloak and knew the slitheren password.

Twenty minutes, one near miss with a light sleeping slitheren and an unfortunate gimps at a half naked cousin of Serius' later, everything was set. All he had to do was eat his breakfast and watch the show.

They did not disappoint.

James was about half way through a stack of pancakes and had resolved to get up earlier from now on as they were fantastic, when Longbottom elbowed him and pointed to the slitheren table.

Malfoy and Lastrange were apparently unaware of there surroundings. They were joined at the mouth and James swore he caught a hint of tongue. Lastrange had his hands in Malfoy's hair, though how he had managed that with the, frankly absurd amount of hair jell Malfoy used was beyond James. At the same time Malfoy was attempting to remove The other boy's pants. It was at this moment that James noticed Snape who had been staring open-mouthed at the scene in front of him along with the rest of the great hall, but turned suddenly as though he could feel James' eyes on him. James couldn't resist winking and was pleased with the small grateful smile he received in return.


End file.
